“Oh shit” Saturday.

I feel like almost every Saturday morning I have an epiphany.  Whether  I realize something about myself or someone else – I feel as if I normally start my day with some kind of realization that comes out of no where.  I call it my “Oh shit” moment.  My brain says, “Oh shit,” followed by my body deciding to stand completely still for at least 30 seconds while I process my new found genius.

Once I’ve processed, I go about my day – albeit more intelligent from my own self discovering…well – genius – like I said.  This morning was no different.  I decided to throw some clothes in the wash.  I let the lid slam on the washing machine and continued my morning.  (Seriously though, does anyone actually gently close that lid?)

I recently had done some organizing in my basement/laundry room and noticed some papers had scattered themselves on the floor.  Being the semi-self-proclaimed OCD person that I am, I had to pick it up, organize, put away, etc.  One of the papers was from a job I had a few years back and decided to keep as a reminder.

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Let’s just say that being tied to a cubicle by a phone cord can start to…mess with a person.  The amount of people I had to converse with on a daily basis wasn’t the issue – it was the people I had to talk to that were.

Finding the piece of paper really gave me a jolt.  Enter the “Oh shit” moment I had this morning.  (If you’re familiar with Marilene Isaacs Kauffman then you’ve been reading about the NOW.  The shedding of all illusions and seeing what’s actually going down in the world.)

Lately I’ve had the displeasure of encountering several rude individuals.  (If you’re from the Pittsburgh area you’d say they were ignorant – which is in fact – the informal definition of rude – so you’re not totally wrong just partially – just sayin.)  It dawned on me during today’s moment in finding that piece of paper that someone else’s problems are just that  – their problems.  It was a hard realization to accept – that maybe I’m seeing these people for who they really are.  The realization that all is not what it seems.  Knowing and having to accept that some people are just in fact, rude; that some people aren’t concerned about being good to others and helping when someone is in need; that it’s OKAY that there are people like that!  None of that is an easy thing to learn let alone execute in your life but at least we try, right?

So really that’s it.  Just you’re basic, some people suck and that’s OKAY kind of realization.   Alexis, out.

 

 

 

LACONIC LEXTURES 5.12.17

Laconic

adjective
1. using few words; expressing much in few words; concise:
a laconic reply.

 

Lex

Noun

  1. ME

 

Lecture

noun
1. a speech read or delivered before an audience or class, especially for instruction or to set forth some subject.

 

Now you get it.  LACONIC LEXTURES.

I am not a recruiter but I work in recruiting.  Is that weird?  Nah.  I used to work at a company that manufactured passive components but am I an engineer?   Nah.  We all have something we specialize in, even if we aren’t specialists.  So I thought it would be interesting to give some perspective on things that I, personally, know nothing about.  I want to TRY to focus on recruiting, business, HR, etc.; I make no promises – because sometimes we need a little non-business related news in our lives.  That’s what the internet is for, right?  I get to have opinions and you get to listen to them and I don’t have to care otherwise.  Hooray for technology!  (Please note that I’m not mentioning specific sources so, go figure it out.)

Let’s give this week a whack, shall we?

There’s still a gap to fill for jobs in IT.  

NO. FUCKING. WAY.  You mean to tell me, there are gaps in the job market?  Whew.  I’m glad I didn’t miss THAT article.  So POTUS signed stuff, and work and foreign visas are weird.  Got it.  Super shocking.

Facebook did something, again.

We got a real nail-biter here folks.  The book is watching your posts more closely.  Apparently there’s this thing called “fake news” going around.  So wait, they finally WANT to clear my feed of useless fucking bullshit?  Snaps for Facebook.  

Domino’s now making it easier to steal pizza.

Drones and robots have successfully delivered pizza in a couple countries now – making it even easier to hijack your neighbor’s dinner and eat for free.  Neat.  The second I saw the little guy scooting around I imagined myself punting it and yelling, “FREE PIZZA!”

Sharks spotted near surfers in California.

Seriously.  What can I say?  Sharks live in the ocean and  they see surfers as literally chunks of meat on plates floating in the ocean.  C’mon guys.

 

#Condiments am I right?

Have I been distracting you from your life?  I hope so.  I hope I can make a few minutes of your day a little different and interesting with my writing. If not oh well.  I amuse myself.

I had a Facebook status recently that said I was thinking of eating a chicken salad or perhaps some tacos.  Upon further thought I realized that really what I was deciding was, RANCH DRESSING OR SOUR CREAM?

I LOVE CONDIMENTS.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the taste of a meal-I can enjoy lots of things without adding anything to it….but I prefer to add things.  Let’s quick look at ranch dressing.  I put it on EVERYTHING.  Throw in some Frank’s red hot and I’m set.  Pizza, french fries, chicken nuggets (not McDonald’s, they have their own sweet and sour sauce that is TO DIE FOR).

I was not so ranch obsessed as a kid.  I think that from attending college and finding ways to keep your stomach full so you could save money for beer that you aren’t old enough to buy yet has had it’s influence.  I remember a George Foreman grill, hamburgers, buns, cheese, season salt, hot sauce and ranch.  That’s how we “cooked”. You’d be surprised how good ranch tastes with a can of tuna when you don’t have mayo.

Anyways.  I ended up eating tacos the other night.  I wanted sour cream.

READING IS FUN.

ranch-dressing-on-all-the-things

Does it matter? #acceptance

So much random shit going on in the world.

People get upset if you aren’t up on the latest world news-but for me, I just don’t care.  Let me say this again, I care, but not enough to worry about it.  For those that don’t know I lost my father to suicide in 2003.  This year will be 12 years.  What I have done with those years?  I’ve lived.

I’ve gone to therapy, talked to family and friends, read books…whatever I could do to make myself smile-to heal.  I couldn’t get past all the anger and emotions that were associated with such a devastating loss.  It wasn’t until recently (the last five years or so) that I learned a very important lesson-a valuable lesson towards MY HAPPINESS.

ACCEPTANCE.

You’ve heard ‘forgive and forget’, but please don’t get that confused with acceptance.  It doesn’t have to be anything more than grasping the concept of ‘is it what it is’.

I’m someone that will rack my brain for days, lose sleep and stress over trying to figure out WHY.  WHY DID SHE SAY THAT TO ME?  WHY IS HE SUCH A DICK?  WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?  WHY IS THIS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD?

Acceptance is just realizing, there’s not an answer all the time.  I was talking about my dad’s ex wife to my therapist.  I was telling her how she was a horrific woman.  I carried anger piled upon anger for YEARS because of this woman.  I went into detail about the different things that had happened, that she’d said and done during the years she was a part of my life.  I was on the verge of tears when my therapist stopped me and asked, “How would you describe her?”

I was taken aback.  I just told her about awful things she had done-didn’t that describe her?  Apparently not.  I sat there in silence for a minute or two and thought about a description.  I could only come up with one thing, “She’s an asshole.”

My therapist stared at me and processed my response.  She nodded her head and said, “Well that’s it then.  You nailed it.  She’s an asshole.”

I had no idea it could be that easy.  She was right.  My dad’s ex is just an asshole.  Some people are just bad people.  It’s not my fault or problem and there’s nothing I can do about it.  She was an asshole when I knew her, and she probably still is now.  Not my problem.

Sure it seems lackadaisical.  Just call things what they are and move on.  But the next time you’re thinking of a person, instance, experience or whatever it may be that just has you baffled and stressed-maybe, just maybe-they are just an asshole.

READING IS  FUN.

youre-an-asshole

Weird #dream O_o

I had a weird ass dream last night.  I was driving my car and turned onto a very snowy road.  I slowed down and was driving carefully when my car hit a patch and went FLYING across the road.  My driver side door flew open and I went flying out of the car (I always wear my seatbelt but can’t remember if I was in the dream).  I landed face down in the snow and looked up to see my car was sliding toward me.  I started yelling, “No God save me! Save me!” My car started to turn like it was going to slide and run me over and at the last second went the other direction and ran over my left hand (that was oddly stretched out in front of me because as I was screaming to be saved I was reaching with my left hand like I could stop the car with it?).  The car came to a stop and I looked at my hand which was fine.  I was fine-just laying in the snow.  I got up, got back in the car and drove to my mom’s house as if nothing had happened.

Reading is fun.  Angels are real (even in dreams).

“Wanna hear a story?” – A Thanksgiving Tale

I consider myself a friendly person.  I smile and hold doors and thank people and let people cut in line.  I had the pleasure of speaking with an elderly man while out for turkey day dinner.  I had finished making my salad plate and was heading toward the soup area.  I saw this elderly man heading in my same direction so I slowed down a bit so he could get ahead of me and go first.  We both must have read the kind of soups being served at the same time; because as I was thinking, “Cream of turkey?!?!?!?! AHHHH!!!” he said to me, “CREAM OF TURKEY, NO THANKS!”.  I mentioned I was thinking the same exact thing and told him I’d be going for the wedding soup.  He told me he was going for the wedding soup as well and I said, “Go with what you know.”  I thought maybe I had offended him because he slowly turned to look at me and asks, “You wanna hear a story?”.  Being the type of person I am I thought to myself, “HECK YES I DO.  YOU’RE ELDERLY SO THIS IS SO GOING TO BE AMAZING-DEAR GOD DO NOT LET THIS BE A LECTURE.”  I tell him, “sure” and he smiles as we both stand there in front of the soups having our little exchange.  His story follows:

“Back in my line of work I saw a lot of dead bodies.  With dead bodies you’ll see your share of maggots.  I can’t eat rice because it just looks too much like maggots-so no cream of turkey for me.”

That’s the story! I don’t even know if cream of turkey has rice in it, but he verified my distaste for it.  I said, “OH GROSS, COOL” and we both giggled and went our separate ways with our wedding soup.

READING IS FUN.  And now I will eat only brown rice.

#Stay-cation naps are the WORST.

I am super thankful to have a job that allows me paid days off. I love long weekends, getting stuff done and not HAVING to do anything.  I love sleeping in, eating, cleaning, etc.  I look forward to my coffee in the morning and starting the day.  I don’t enjoy it at 3am.  I took advantage of my Thanksgiving Stay-Cation at home and over napped.  Can a person over nap?  YES. YES THEY CAN.  Okay yes I CAN.  My brain tries to calculate hours of sleep to maintain some version of normal but it never pans out.  I think to myself, “Ok.  It’s 2pm so if I take a two hour nap I’ll be up by 4pm and once I’m functional I can think about dinner…and I’ll probably be in bed by 11 and if I get 8 hours of sleep then I’ll be up by 7am and if I need to I can always take a nap tomorrow since I’m off on Sunday so if I’m up early on Sunday I can nap that afternoon but an early nap because I have to be in bed Sunday night by at least 10 so I can try for 8 hours of sleep since I have to work Monday.”

What really happens is I set my alarm for my naps, hit the snooze button way too many times when they go off and end up pushing my calculated sleep schedule forward by usually around two hours.  Now here I am, 5am, up since 3 and writing this-while I think about when I will nap later today. Hashtag problems.     😉

READING IS FUN!  ZZZZzzzZZZzzzzZzzzzzZZZzZzZz

This boot is made for….walkin’!

So happy that today might be the day to get my boot off!  I am fully aware there are people in the world with severe disabilities-this post is not for them.  It’s mine!  At the end of July I fractured my right heel and ended up on a soft cast and a storm trooper boot.  Days after getting my boot off, I broke my LEFT heel in three spots, and ended up in another storm trooper boot.  It is the day before Thanksgiving and I might actually get my boot off!  I wish I had better stories to go along with the breaks, however I was just WALKING in both instances.  The goal is to strengthen my ankles at this point.  I didn’t need surgery-yay!  My newest worry is now that I could possibly be getting my boot off, is the fact that WINTER IS COMING and I will be learning to walk “normally” again in the snow.  I’m trying my best to really really WATCH where I am going and to SLOW THE HELL DOWN.  We will see!

READING IS FUN TURKIES!1601371_10107631112800664_4823585988430108437_n

Because #Turkey?

That super awesome day that everyone looks forward to every year is quickly approaching.  Yes that’s right.  Wild Turkey Wednesday.  The day when bros and their bro counterparts take part in drinking large amounts of Wild Turkey because the only day it’s actually acceptable to lay around all day and do nothing is in fact, Thanksgiving.  Why not start your turkey day off right with a hangover and some hair of the dog while your mom sweats her ass off in the kitchen prepping that can of cranberry sauce that you’re not even going to eat because you and your bros had a “wicked awesome time at the bar last night”?  I’m generalizing and stereotyping.  I’m always one of the few people who appreciates all the effort that goes into prepping a large meal for people-but don’t climb on your high horse just yet.  My grandmother made a family dinner for a minimum of 8 people once a week for YEARS-so don’t get all uppity because you made Thanksgiving dinner-some people actually cook their meals like, ALL THE TIME.  Also let’s not forget all the people who still have to go to work on Thanksgiving.  Try to think about what you’re actually thankful for, do it more than once a year, and don’t be an idiot because you’re home on break from college and think your parents are your house keepers-THEY AREN’T.  Oh and if you’re planning on having a WICKED GOOD TIME the night before Thanksgiving, at least drink something decent like Jameson, and don’t drive.  END RANT.

READING IS FUN!