Does it matter? #acceptance

So much random shit going on in the world.

People get upset if you aren’t up on the latest world news-but for me, I just don’t care.  Let me say this again, I care, but not enough to worry about it.  For those that don’t know I lost my father to suicide in 2003.  This year will be 12 years.  What I have done with those years?  I’ve lived.

I’ve gone to therapy, talked to family and friends, read books…whatever I could do to make myself smile-to heal.  I couldn’t get past all the anger and emotions that were associated with such a devastating loss.  It wasn’t until recently (the last five years or so) that I learned a very important lesson-a valuable lesson towards MY HAPPINESS.


You’ve heard ‘forgive and forget’, but please don’t get that confused with acceptance.  It doesn’t have to be anything more than grasping the concept of ‘is it what it is’.

I’m someone that will rack my brain for days, lose sleep and stress over trying to figure out WHY.  WHY DID SHE SAY THAT TO ME?  WHY IS HE SUCH A DICK?  WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?  WHY IS THIS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD?

Acceptance is just realizing, there’s not an answer all the time.  I was talking about my dad’s ex wife to my therapist.  I was telling her how she was a horrific woman.  I carried anger piled upon anger for YEARS because of this woman.  I went into detail about the different things that had happened, that she’d said and done during the years she was a part of my life.  I was on the verge of tears when my therapist stopped me and asked, “How would you describe her?”

I was taken aback.  I just told her about awful things she had done-didn’t that describe her?  Apparently not.  I sat there in silence for a minute or two and thought about a description.  I could only come up with one thing, “She’s an asshole.”

My therapist stared at me and processed my response.  She nodded her head and said, “Well that’s it then.  You nailed it.  She’s an asshole.”

I had no idea it could be that easy.  She was right.  My dad’s ex is just an asshole.  Some people are just bad people.  It’s not my fault or problem and there’s nothing I can do about it.  She was an asshole when I knew her, and she probably still is now.  Not my problem.

Sure it seems lackadaisical.  Just call things what they are and move on.  But the next time you’re thinking of a person, instance, experience or whatever it may be that just has you baffled and stressed-maybe, just maybe-they are just an asshole.




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